I bet he comes in French.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
