I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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