They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
