This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
