Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
