just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
