What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
