she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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