It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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