No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
