he shaved USA in his pubs
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
