Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
