He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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