): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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