How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The air was thick with penises
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize