why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
