New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
