Tell her she can't have a vagina
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize