I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
