I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
