Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
