I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
