Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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