lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
tell me about the fingering
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize