Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
