Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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