there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
