ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
