she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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