East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to stop coming to work sober
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
