Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
