If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
