no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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