I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
