Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
