I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
