You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
