Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize