called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
50% drunk capacity currently
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
