There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
