I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've blown a few things in my day
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
my liver is dry heaving
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
