Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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