weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
