So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
