I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
