Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
