the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
