You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
