I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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