I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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