worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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