so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize