y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
