I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
