so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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