Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize