Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize